Dealing with Imposter Syndrome
In the Spring of 2019, my wife wrapped up her 4-year Pharmacy degree and we found ourselves leaving Seattle, Washington for the Portland area in Oregon. My wife had a great residency lined up in the area and we were finally moving away from the University of Washington. I was thinking, “Great! It’s a more suburban area plus there’s no sales tax in Oregon so I can buy some new gear on the cheap!”
This was our announcement photo for moving from Seattle to Vancouver, Washington. We've stopped saying Vancouver and started saying Portland because literally everyone thought we were moving to Canada. #FakeNews
Well the reality of the situation started to kick in once I started looking around for work. I started out wanting to find a full time job (still searching as of July 2019) but I just haven’t been able to find anything that’s worth the effort. Hardly any jobs are production oriented and if they are, they’re offering less than $45K a year, which is just crazy low compared to what I was making in Seattle. Was Portland a smaller market? Did my dream job exist here? It started to set in that I had left behind my entire network of creatives, grad school classmates, and quite frankly the connections I needed in order to get work.
I can’t recall where I pulled this image from, I think it was somewhere on Facebook? But almost every filmmaker can relate to this roller coaster of emotions.
A quick walk down memory lane…
For those that don’t know, I founded and ran a video production company, Waka Waka Studios, from 2011 to 2019. I’ve been attached to the company for 1/3 of my life and it’s been difficult to imagine my life without it. Quite honestly, we did a lot; we created viral hits, we won commercial competitions, we were Emmy-nominated, and we won multiple Telly Awards. But I’ve been going through this process of technical growth and I want to hold a camera every day instead of sitting behind a desk pushing papers and staying in the edit bay for weeks on end. I wanted to stop running a company and I wanted to start empowering others. I love telling stories that help inspire and encourage others. I know it runs the risk of sounding generic or cheesy but it’s simply true. Even my first video (below) as a public figure is all about me being vulnerable and sharing my personal doubts with the world with the hope that the content would inspire others. Now I am by no means famous but the emails that I’ve already received are heart-warming. I am so glad that I’ve been able to give others hope by peeling back one of my layers of insecurity to show that my life, like many, is far from perfect.
My journey is far from over.
In fact, I’m just getting started. I’m currently working on multiple passion projects, seeking gig/job opportunities in Portland, and creating more empowering content to release into the world. If you want to follow along on my storytelling journey, you can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, or you can subscribe to my newsletter for more direct and hand tailored updates!